Tune: Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Were you lonesome tonight?

Was the hash out of sight?

Are you sorry you strayed from true trail?

Did your throat feel real dry?

Underneath the hot sky

When you thought of the beer did you wail?

Are the sores on your feet, raw and filled up with puss?

When you gazed down the road, did you pay for a bus?

Are your legs filled with pain?

Will you shortcut again?

Tell me fool, were you lonesome tonight?

Tune: Ring Of Fire

Love is a burning thing

Met a girl who could make me sing

A snatch was never wider

I fell into her huge vagina

CHORUS:

I fell into her steamy wet vagina

Went down, down, down,

Almost the whole way to China

And it turns, squirms, churns

That huge vagina, that huge vagina

The taste, it was so sweet

Then I slid in my meat

Just before I was done

She asked, “Are you in yet Hon?”

CHORUS

I tasted her and then

I had to try again

She said, with all her charm

“Don’t use your cock again, try your arm.”

CHORUS

Tune: Itself

CHORUS:

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

What do you do with a drunken sailor

Earlye in the morning

Put him to bed with the captain’s daughter

Put him to bed with the captain’s daughter

Put him to bed with the captain’s daughter

Earlye in the morning

Hang him by the balls in a running bowline…

Shave his crotch with a rusty razor…

Shove a hosepipe up his arsehole…

Tie his prick in a double half-hitch…

That’s what we’ll do with the drunken sailor…

Tune: Three Blind Mice

Who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

It’s no fun

It’s no fun

You chase after women and what do you get?

You grumble and fumble and break out in sweat

You wake up at midnight just deeper in debt

So who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

It’s no fun

It’s no fun

You meet a new woman and go on a date

You hug and you kiss and you think that it’s great

She gives you blue balls and you masturbate

So who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

It’s no fun

It’s no fun

He grunts and he gasps like he’s on long run

He’s in for a minute then he squirts on your bum

Then he falls asleep as soon as he’s done

So who needs sex?

Who needs sex?

Tune: Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Put your legs round my shoulders (shoulders)

Let me suck your cock slowly (slowly)

Because you know you’re the only (only)

Hasher I let sit on my face (my face)

Put your lips on my sweet lips (sweet lips)

Let your tongue do the walkin’ (walkin’)

I’ll be doing al the talkin’ (talkin’)

While I sit on your face (your face)

Put your legs round my midriff (midriff)

Let me ride somethin’ really stiff (really stiff)

You know you will be really miffed (really miffed)

If you miss out on the ride of your life (your life)

Turn me round to the other side (other side)

For a different sort of fun ride (fun ride)

You know you won’t slip and slide (slip and slide)

When I’ve got you up on my back side (back side)

Tune: Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Put your legs round my shoulders (shoulders)

Let me kiss your lips slowly (slowly)

You know you are the only (only)

Hasher I let sit on my face (my face)

Put your lips on my sweet meat (sweet meat)

‘Cause you know that it’s a real treat (real treat)

And you know you just can’t beat (can’t beat)

The taste of my meat in your mouth (your mouth)

Put your legs round my midriff (midriff)

‘Cause I’ve got something real stiff (real stiff)

And I know you’d be really miffed (really miffed)

If you miss out on your chance (your chance)

Tune: Rawhide Theme Song

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’

My dick is gettin’ swollen

I got this doggie rollin’, Rawhide

My knob is hard as leather

But I’ll get it in whatever

I wish I could get the tip inside

I stab but I keep missin’

This wasn’t made for pissin’

I’m waiting for this year’s first ride

CHORUS:

Pull ‘em down, get ‘em off

Get ‘em off, pull ‘em down

Pull ‘em off, get ‘em off, Rawhide

Stick it in, pull it out

Pull it out, stick it in

Stick it in, pull it out, Rawhide

She’s movin’, movin’, movin

Stops my manhood groovin’

This doggie won’t stop movin’, Rawhide

It’s gonna be sore later

But I’ve been a masturbator

All those years that I’ve just spent inside

My balls they are aching

From ages wanking, waiting

Waiting to get this thing inside

CHORUS

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’

I’m rootin’ her assholin’

We’re mounted doggy style, Rawhide

I don’t try to understand her

Just catch and grope and bang her

Now her twat is gettin’ wet and wide

My foreskin’s torn and tattered

Her pussy’s worn and battered

At last I’ll drop my load inside

Tune: Do, RE, Mi

Fuck a duck, a female duck

Screw a baby kangaroo

Finger bang an orangutan

Let an elephant eat you

FEEL the penis of an eel

WHACK the asshole of a yak

MASTURBATE with a gnu

That will bring us back to

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…

Repeat with motions, humming, silence, etc.

Tune: Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Boys

CHORUS:

Bestiality’s best, boys

Bestiality’s best, FUCK A WALLABY!

Bestiality’s best, boys

Bestiality’s best

You can shoot your load in a toad

You can come again in a hen

Put your log in a dog

Rub your beaver on a retriever

Rub your box on a fox

Rub your clitty on a kitty

Grind your mound on a hound

Fool with the tool of a mule

Do it funky with a monkey

Ejaculate in a snake

Get in deep with a sheep

Give a lickin’ to a chicken

Take a deer from the rear

Up the tail of a whale

Tune: American Pie

Say Bye-bye to sex on the sly

Put your package in the Kuchee

But the Kuchee was dry

Your wang won’t stay up

You need Viagra and K-Y

Wishing you could still have sex on the sly

There’s no more sex on the sly